I’ve been commissioned by Our Lord for a very special assignment and believe me when I say it WON’T involve running! Typically, assignments such as this have an initial phase of about 9 months and then a lifetime after that. Sometimes, however, the assignment ends a bit sooner and a bit differently than expected. Either way, however, the sacred priviledge of participating in God’s creation of life is just that. A priviledge. An undeserved gift. Either way, we cling to Jesus to fill us with the grace to press on through the joy, pain, and suffering.
I’ve been on similar assignments quite a few times before and was always filled with joy at learning the news. This time feels different though. Still joyful but very, very different. As a Catholic, living open to life and understanding just a little more each day of God’s exceedingly abundant generosity to me in the Sacraments, I am almost speechless that the Author of Life would allow us the joy of participating with Him in creating life. I almost tremble at the awe of it. We’ve been praying for this gift for years. This time, however, we sought the prayers of some individuals we had never sought before. This time, whenever I receive the Eucharist, Jesus’s body and blood are not only feeding me but the life inside of me as well. Something about that makes this time very, very different.
I know there are many of the world who would scoff at my sentiments. I’m reminded of the cashier at our local Food Lion Grocery:
“I’d rather have 6 boys than 4 girls!” (spoken as she surveyed me standing there with my 4 lovely Runninggals who were watching and listening to her with wide eyes)
..and she went on….
“I’d rather have 6 boys than 2 girls! It’s not worth the trouble.” (said with a heightened tone to emphasize her point)
(Thank you dear grocery store lady for planting the seed in my dear girls’ hearts that some would think many children are too much trouble. Thank you also for the reminder to keep you in my prayers.)
And there’s this which nearly breaks my heart to read. I don’t think it needs any further elaboration.
Like I said, I’ve been on such assignments before. One, however, was lost before I ever knew her face. That’s always a risk we take being open to God’s plan for us – that he might allow us to suffer. I’m reminded of a post on this blog quite a while ago. Still, it is Him, not my own comfort or security, that I seek. I have experienced his faithfulness and generosity to me for much of my life but even more, and at a much more intimate level, since fully experiencing Him in the Eucharist. His grace is sufficient.
If you’re interested in keeping tabs on this most current “project”, I’ve added a fun little something on my sidebar.
On another note, I’ve thought often in the past few months of closing down this blog. Life is so full and there’s little time to dedicate to reading and writing. I overheard a conversation recently, however, that reminded me I still have much to say. Just don’t know quite when I’ll get around to saying it! I’m pretty sure it won’t be until the time when food is more appealing and I don’t require 9 sleep at night!