…and I don’t mean a weight loss program. 
Every once in a while you learn a new bit of information or you see something as if seeing it for the first time and you have a hunch that what you’re learning or seeing may have a big impact on your life. Now I’m not talking a “lightbulb” moment like when I learned I could place books on hold at our local library via the internet and some hard-working librarian would pull all of them off the shelf and have them waiting for me at the check-out desk within a couple of days. Or when I learned that Bed, Bath & Beyond will let you use expired coupons (did you know that?!).
What I’m talking about is more than a “lightbulb moment”. I talkin’ one of those scales-falling-from-your-eyes moments when you realize your life may or should change profoundly in response to what you’ve seen. The scales are falling so fast you can practically here them clatter as they hit the floor. Perhaps you’re even shaken to the core by it….but you can’t ignore it. You can’t not be changed by it. You’re drawn by it.
That was me, about 18 months ago while sitting with our church bible study as we studies this passage:
“Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; he who comes to me shall not hunger, and he who believes in me shall never thirst.
36: But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe.
37: All that the Father gives me will come to me; and him who comes to me I will not cast out.
38: For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me;
39: and this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up at the last day.
40: For this is the will of my Father, that every one who sees the Son and believes in him should have eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day.”
41: The Jews then murmured at him, because he said, “I am the bread which came down from heaven.”
42: They said, “Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How does he now say, `I have come down from heaven’?”
43: Jesus answered them, “Do not murmur among yourselves.
44: No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day.
45: It is written in the prophets, `And they shall all be taught by God.’ Every one who has heard and learned from the Father comes to me.
46: Not that any one has seen the Father except him who is from God; he has seen the Father.
47: Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes has eternal life.
48: I am the bread of life.
49: Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died.
50: This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that a man may eat of it and not die.
51: I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh.”
52: The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”
53: So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you;
54: he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.
55: For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed.
56: He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him.
57: As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me.
58: This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live for ever.” John 6:35-58
I had read these verses before, many times in fact. Frankly, it really didn’t matter to me if the wafer and wine we ingested at communion were the real deal or a memorial. If my Dh wanted to believe they were the real flesh and blood of Jesus, that was fine with me. Either way, it didn’t make any difference how we lived out our faith. That’s where I was that evening when we examined this passage.
But that particular evening, my reasoning fell apart when I discovered that the Greek word Jesus uses for “eats” in some of these verses (the ones I have bolded) means literally to “chew” or “gnaw”. Before verse 54, he uses a more common verb for eat, one that could be interpreted to have a figurative meaning, i.e. the necessity of faith. But from verse 54 on, the focus of his teaching shifts to a more crude and forceful connotation. (scales hitting the floor) In fact, this gnawing/chewing is so important that He repeats it three more times in this passage. (more scales hitting the floor) Not only that but he associates this gnawing/chewing with having eternal life (v. 54) and with abiding in Him (v. 56). (still more scales)
Because our study group was also reading through Robert Wilken’s The Spirit of Early Christian Thought and was being led by a guy who was studying directly under Dr. Wilken, we incorporated many writings of the ECF’s. How did the early Christians understand this passage?
“They abstain from the Eucharist and from prayer, because they confess not the Eucharist to be the flesh of our Saviour Jesus Christ, which suffered for our sins, and which the Father, of His goodness, raised up again.” Ignatius of Antioch, A.D. 110
“And this food is called among us Eukaristia [the Eucharist], of which no one is allowed to partake but the man who believes that the things which we teach are true, and who has been washed with the washing that is for the remission of sins, and unto regeneration, and who is so living as Christ has enjoined. For not as common bread and common drink do we receive these; but in like manner as Jesus Christ our Saviour, having been made flesh by the Word of God, had both flesh and blood for our salvation, so likewise have we been taught that the food which is blessed by the prayer of His word, and from which our blood and flesh by transmutation are nourished, is the flesh and blood of that Jesus who was made flesh.” Justin Martyr, A.D. 155
“He has acknowledged the cup (which is a part of the creation) as His own blood, from which He bedews our blood; and the bread (also a part of the creation) He has established as His own body, from which He gives increase to our bodies.” Irenaeus, A.D. 189
“I wish to admonish you with examples from your religion. You are accustomed to take part in the divine mysteries, so you know how, when you have received the Body of the Lord, you reverently exercise every care lest a particle of it fall, and lest anything of the consecrated gift perish. You account yourselves guilty, and rightly do you so believe, if any of it be lost through negligence. But if you observe such caution in keeping His Body, and properly so, how is it that you think neglecting the word of God a lesser crime than neglecting His Body?” Origen, A.D. 244
I have to admit it was a bit of a rug-pulled-out-from-under-me experience. I think the room may have even begun to spin. The Lord had shown me something BIG and I knew I would not be unchanged by it. Jesus was telling me He is in the Eucharist and that my partaking in the Eucharist assists me in abiding in Him and obtaining eternal life. Writings of the ECF’s supported these notions. The implications for my life were huge.
Why did I never understand this before? I have wondered that often since then. I think the timing and circumstances God provides for revealing more of Himself to us are part of His mystery. Perhaps up to that point in my life, He had other things to show me? I think of the Ethiopian eunuch who had been reading his bible but still didn’t “get it” until God providentially planted Philip in the eunuch’s path (Acts 8:26-31) Or there’s the all too familiar story of Paul’s Damascus Road conversion. Paul had plenty of opportunities to “see” but it wouldn’t happen unless it was God’s time and God’s way. Only God knows what it takes for us to see what He wants to reveal.
I have only skimmed the surface as far as the Early Church’s belief in the Eucharist. There are links below if you want to read more. God has each of us in a unique place of His choosing. But I do think it’s imperative (as well as a scriptural exhortation) that we know what we believe and why.
Know what you believe.
Know why.
But be careful though…it just may lead you someplace unexpected. 
For futher study:
It’s amazing isn’t it once you are on this side of the understanding just how far away you are from where you were before and it all happens so darn FAST!! I still remember that moment that the scales fell. It felt like an earthquake and suddenly everything was different even though it looked the same as it did the instant before. And now when people suggest to me that I leave the RCC I just shake my head and think to myself “How? How could I leave? And how can I make them understand the difference between where I was and where I am now?”
As I read Crossed the Tiber and learned for the first time that the early Church believed that Christ was truly present in the Eucharist, the scales started to fall and I got chills thinking I walked away from this Church as a young teen, never knowing what I left. I knew I would return.
After being away from the Eucharist for >30 years my wife and I attempt to go to Mass daily. Our parish is a walk away praise God!
Thanks !
And BTW, those scales will continue to fall regarding Mary, Purgatory, communion of saints etc. once you agree to not be your own Pope anymore, it becomes much easier!
Tiber Jumper, your comment brings up a question I have had. Why didn’t you know what you left as a young teen. I’m trying to understand (and am actually working on a post about it) why some folks have to leave the Church to see it for what it is, or to “find Jesus” as some say. What are your thoughts about that?
Running Mom asked me: “Why didn’t you know what you left as a young teen. I’m trying to understand (and am actually working on a post about it) why some folks have to leave the Church to see it for what it is, or to “find Jesus” as some say. What are your thoughts about that?”
That’s the million dollar question isn’t it? Since the day I returned, which incidentally was April 30th, 2004, (31 years after I became born again 5/27/1973) I have asked myself why did I leave such Truth.
The short answer was I didn’t see and I didn’t believe it. I was an unconverted soul sitting in a pew every week. I let the hope of my baptism slip away by filling my soul with the world.
When I found out (3 years ago) that Catholics have always believed Christ was in the Eucharist, I said to myself “did the priest really say This is Jesus, the Lamb of God” during Mass? I am sure my parish taught that but the personal relationship part was not there for me. I still to this day don’t remember hearing it, but I was blinded for sure.
It was the early 70’s and I was a young kid heavily into rock music and the Woodstock culture sucked me in. My parents weren’t devout catholics and struggled with alcohol issues and had an incredibly unhappy marriage. All my Catholic friends were starting to smoke dope and the kid that turned me on to that stuff was Catholic himself! I never knew it was a mortal sin to do such things and never heard a sermon on any moral issues. I got into the occult as well and once my Mom said, that’s against your religion you know! But other than that, there was no moral teachings, or none that I was listening too. Religion was definitely the last thing on my mind in 1973.
Sadly I was Catholic in name only, rarely went to confession, but never missed Mass because my Father was the “Mass Nazi.” It could be snowing 3 feet and we would pile into the car and go. Despite that devotion, he was prejudice against anyone not German, had pretty bad language and didn’t seem very “Christian” to me at the time. So, I think my parents and non-devout friends had a big influence on why I didn’t see Catholicism as valid.
I played guitar in the folk mass on Sundays but saw no contradiction with pot-smoking on Saturdays! The priest leading our youth group was not dynamic at all, and we dismissed him out of hand once we “found Jesus.”
This is how it happened:
I went to a Protestant Bible study (over my friend’s house whose sister was an ex-catholic born againer) because I heard they gave you a free Bible. For some strange reason, I was intrigued with getting my own little bible (never had one at home). Went to the Bible study and saw happy, vibrant, young people who weren’t high! I realized they had something I didn’t. So they asked you if you wanted to know Jesus.I said “sure, looks good to me. ” I prayed the sinner’s prayer, surrendered my life to Jesus and, Wham!!, He really changed me! I was set free of the whole drug culture rock and roll thing in that one night!! I knew God had found me and was so excited. My brother who accompanied me that night had the identical experience and has continued to live a devout evangelical Christian life since.(He recently became a full time pastor)(barely speaks to me anymore)
So far, so good, it was a real conversion, but I now call it my second one, because I now know my first one was my infant baptism. The problem was the Bible study was filled with Jack T Chick type Christians who immediately started feeding me anti-catholic horse poop. I as a bad Catholic, not well taught, had no idea what Catholics really believed so I accepted their word for it because after all, I “found Jesus” in this group of Christians, and my parents didn’t act like they knew Jesus nor did all my Catholic doper friends!
The Catholicism that I left didn’t change me, so why did I want to go back? I made many wrong assumptions and didn’t go back to discuss it with my priest. Instead I snidely went back telling him how wrong the church was, they didn’t know Jesus , they didn’t know the Bible blah blah.. blah. Unfortunately, the priests were not schooled in apologetics and couldn’t or didn’t choose to give me a reasoned defense. It was more like, you were born Catholic so stay Catholic! They didn’t tell me Catholics gave us their Bible, that we can accept Jesus as our savior every Sunday because He is is the Mass!!! I had no idea that when I left the Church , I was physically walking away from Jesus in the Eucharist. At that point after my second conversion, given a different scenario, perhaps I would have stayed if I realized that his Body and blood were before me each mass.
If a priest or learned Catholic could have pulled me aside and encouraged me about my conversion, I might have stayed. Instead they viewed or conversion with much suspicion and didn’t understand the need for our conversion.” Particularly my parents who thought we were such good kids! Why do you need to be saved? my Mom asked repeatedly. The honest truth was that we weren’t honest and never told our parents until years later that we were doing many illegal things and hiding it pretty well. They smoked so much, they never would have smelled pot or cigarettes on us anyway. But , we weren’t even honest with them so of course their question was valid. Why did two young Catholic kids with straight A’s in school need to join a cult? Because they didn’t know we were living in mortal sin!
I went to college, still going to Mass to please my parents but thoroughly schooled in anti-Catholicism because of the fundamentalists I hung with. After college, I got married, and never set foot again in a Catholic Church.
So I guess I left because
1)I was blinded by sin,
2) I had the familiarity breeds contempt syndrome (which BTW also happens in evangelical households as evidenced by my two almost grow sons who have little interest in religion after years and years of bible study VBS, etc surrounding them)
3) I Had no idea what Catholics believed!
4) I had no Catholic role models and may have run into only one devout Catholic that I respected (Now the Pastor at my old Church that I left!)
Sorry for the too long post, but it’s something I think about everyday of my life. I truly am so sorry I left. The pain I have experienced in my life from bad theology as well as the pain I caused the Lord in my rebellion, and others do to choosing my own way, sometimes is a lot to bear.
I have a post on my blog that details some of my Catholic experience. Hope this helps, God bless
TJ
http://crossed-the-tiber.blogspot.com/2007/02/my-catholic-credentials.html
Thanks so much, TJ, for your very thoughtful answer.
Awesome post!
Thanks Elena.
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Two new studies show why some people are more attractive for members of the opposite sex than others.
The University of Florida, Florida State University found that physically attractive people almost instantly attract the attention of the interlocutor, sobesednitsy with them, literally, it is difficult to make eye. This conclusion was reached by a series of psychological experiments, which were determined by the people who believe in sending the first seconds after the acquaintance. Here, a curious feature: single, unmarried experimental preferred to look at the guys, beauty opposite sex, and family, people most often by representatives of their sex.
The authors believe that this feature developed a behavior as a result of the evolution: a man trying to find a decent pair to acquire offspring. If this is resolved, he wondered potential rivals. Detailed information about this magazine will be published Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
In turn, a joint study of the Rockefeller University, Rockefeller University and Duke University, Duke University in North Carolina revealed that women are perceived differently by men smell. During experiments studied the perception of women one of the ingredients of male pheromone-androstenona smell, which is contained in urine or sweat.
The results were startling: women are part of this repugnant odor, and the other part is very attractive, resembling the smell of vanilla, and the third group have not felt any smell. The authors argue that the reason is that the differences in the receptor responsible for the olfactory system, from different people are different.
It has long been proven that mammals (including human) odor is one way of attracting the attention of representatives of the opposite sex. A detailed article about the journal Nature will publish.
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